I just got the urge to type. I wish I was holding a pen instead. It seems like words flow better when words are written. Words are more concrete. When typing, it is so easy to erase your real thoughts.
I think I have lost all faith and belief in love and marriage. It is so easy to say you love someone and say you want to marry someone. In our independent western society we are given the freedom to marry whomever we want and decide to be the breadwinner of the family. Women no longer stay home and bake all day. Shit she can put on a pair of trouser and be the fuckin man. Men can no longer slap around their wife without being slapped with a TRO. We’ve been brainwashed with independency and freewill to fuck whomever we want and say nonsense bullshit just so we can get laid. We use “I love you” so freely that it no longer has any meaning. What does it mean to say you love someone? I thought a lot about all the past relationship that I entered especially the one with JPO just because he had the balls to ask my mother to marry me. Although I don’t regret it ended before I walked down the aisle it made me realize that I think we really didn’t take time to think what it meant to get married. In the past, there was no such thing as divorce. Hell you stayed with that person till death do you part. Even if it meant he beat you to death. No, there was no such thing as divorce. This frightens me more than ever. I am guilty of abusing love just for solely out of selfish need. Just to gain something. To be with someone just to wane the loneliness.
Wedding vows should be re-written:
I take thee to be my wedded husband
To have and to hold
For better or best
For worst, we’re heading for divorce
For richer and richer and not for broke
In sickness, I shall be rewarded with all assets in case of death.
And in health, I will be the best MILF in town
To love and for infidelity
From this day forward
Until I get fed up with you
Or death do us part.